


The Deep End

by FreddieFcknMercury



Category: Cable and Deadpool, Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Drowning, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Illness, Other, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreddieFcknMercury/pseuds/FreddieFcknMercury
Summary: Reader has been feeling alone and invisible and thinks they've found the solution, Nathan disagrees.As always, be nice to me I'm delicate.
Relationships: Cable & Reader, Cable/Reader, Nathan Summers & Reader, Nathan Summers/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	The Deep End

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this is like four hours one night and I did a little editing so this is kinda raw. I just had a break a few nights ago and instead of stewing I wrote.

You loved to swim. Ever since you can remember it's been the only thing that ever brought you pure unfiltered joy. The tranquil weightlessness of it. You're not great at it though and if you're being completely honest it's more of a slow moving floaty situation rather than actual swimming. That's how you know this would work. There was an ill fitted tarp placed over the mansion pool to protect it from the recent weather. The idea was to jump in and let it wrap things up, literally. Not before writing a Note though. You went back and forth on this part, but it seems like the thing to do. You sat at the kitchen bar reading and rereading your words, making sure it's as close to what you want to say as possible.

I feel like I should say I'm sorry. Or that's what you're supposed to say about this kind of thing.  
But I've done nothing but apologise and apologise and no one has ever said sorry to me.  
I'm tired.

And I'm sorry.  
Check on your friends.

You'd been out of sight all week and elusive for the last month and not a single person seemed to notice. You can't help but think that just one 'How are you?' might've change this outcome. It's not fair but you're done caring about fair. You get a small piece of tape from a drawer and stick it to the sliding glass door that leads to the pool area and step out. You carefully pull off your shoes and stick your phone in the left one pushing it all under a lounge chair neatly, out of the way.  
It's amazing how clear everything is now that you've made up your mind. The world feels simple and small. Like nothing matters in a comforting sorta way.   
There's a low wispy breeze. You slowly walk around the side to climb the taller of the two diving boards. Reaching the top, you decide to sit and let yourself take in your last moments. Another light breeze caresses your face gently and you take notice to a coldness running down to your neck. Unaware that you've been gently sobbing this whole time. Your eyes are hot and there's a full throb all over your body with a heaviness in your chest pleading for you to just end it.

He must've suck out while you were busy climbing the ladder. Not just anybody could sneak up on you, but he's not just anybody. 

"It's not a bad plan."  
He calls from behind you, clicking his tongue. You turn slightly to see him in your peripheral gesturing, note in hand, to the pool below. You know he's just trying to prolong the inevitable.   
"Effective... Unfortunate how one of those kids almost had to find your body though."

You scoff. Both of you recognising that guilt isn't the route to take here.  
"I should care?"  
It wasn't a question.

"Thought you'd feel stronger about scarring a child for life."  
Look whose talking.

"Why? I've been in a bad way for a while now, no one noticed."

"I did."  
He pauses and you can feel the contemplation in the air followed by immediate regret.  
"But you gotta say somethin kid-"  
You snap your head in his direction.  
"And I should have said somethin then... but I'm here now."

"It's too late now."  
You shift forward to straddle the board.

He's silent for as long a moment as he can be. You're half tempted to turn back and see if he left before he speaks up again.

"I don't know what to say to make you feel like you don't want to do this."  
You feel yourself tense up, you're sure he could see it too.  
"But we both know I'm not lettin you jump off this thing."

You give yourself a long pause before taking a deep shaky breath. The tears start to sting in your eyes again.  
"I'm just... so tired, Nathan." 

"I'm sorry."  
You hear him take the last two steps up.  
"I'm sorry no ones been there for you. No ones checkin in on you."  
He reaches forward and grabs a fist full of your shirt and sliding you back towards him.  
"And that's not fair... but you can't do this."

He grabs you in both arms and jumps down with a heavy thud, setting you on your feet at the bottom of the ladder. You refuse to make eye contact.  
"Theres a small handful of people who really do lo-care, and we've been too busy to look at you."  
He suggests you towards the house with a gentle hand flat against your back. You glance up finally and notice a lack of orange to his eye. He's not analysing you. You're just talking. You take comfort in that.  
"We can start to fix it, but you gotta give me the chance."


End file.
